2 thoughts on “Weekend Quote #56

  1. This is so true. I thought of how my life has been comprised of so many layers upon layers until I wonder what there is that is me. There were the events that happened in my life, and then there were the thoughts as I tried so hard to understand them. It doesn’t seem that psychiatry was available to the common person for so much of the time I lived, or even counseling. Or perhaps I was not aware of it.

    And even today when these things are available, they are not always good. I deal with psychiatrists who fail to show up for their appointments. Oh they give notices a day before sometimes, and I don’t always get them. And then they have signs on the door of the office that state that a patient that fails to show up for appointments three times will be dropped. Yet three times in a row, the people did not show up. The second time, there were some six of us waiting and this is an office with more than one psychiatrist in it. Not one of them was there with six patients waiting. Not even the person at the desk has showed up on these times. Luckily, the man who owns this building came and opened it for us. He owns also a gym right behind it. It was dreadfully cold. But even then, all we could do was to wait in the hallway. We could not get into the office. Eventually a PA showed up and the poor young man did his best to take care of us, but he could not prescribe anything, and could not give anyone any psychological help.

    To make matters worse, the doctors are becoming just as irresponsible toward their patients. I have waited more than three months for authorizations I believed were in process, only to find out that they have never been turned. These doctors are often working alone, without even a PA and only an office person who is supposed to manage the calls, but this doesn’t happen as the people supposed to be in the office are not there. I have gone to their offices during working hours when they should be there and no one is available.

    So for the patient who is already suffering and trying hard to do what is necessary to survive, it is not just a simple matter of trying to make sure we get to the psychiatrists or counselors, but to have to deal with more stressful issues we have no idea how to deal with. We go through insurance that might have been great last year, and this year it is not only not great, but not really accomplishing anything in the way of positive change. So lacking the means to deal with it, we become more and more ill. I don’t know what to say or to do. Society has let me down in so many ways.

    The police have failed to help me when I was assaulted and bullied by half the people in my senior mobile home park for trying to stop drug crime right next door and throughout the park. The park owner offered me almost less than half what I paid for the home, but in order to get out safely with my pets, I had do move quickly – less than a week notice. No one was there to protect me the day I moved. Some 20+ people were on hand to terrorize me; there were more than I could have imagined involved with the drug trade. It turned out that seniors living in the park and needing pain meds were getting them from the drug dealers when they could not get them from their doctors. Who could imagine what society has created in this world? Finally the police did show up and made the people go inside, where they all spent time watching through the windows. It was a nightmare, and once again, a spirit that was born whole was totally dismantled.

    The doctors – both physical doctors and psychiatrists and even to a point the counselors have let me down. The insurance companies have let us down. Medicare and Medical have let us (I am not alone in my suffering) down. And worst of all, the City where I live has let us down. Mobile home park owners are holding the people who have bought in their parks hostages because we cannot get them to communicate with us even when we go through legal aid, and we send letters, etc. to them about issues we need taken care of (such as getting our titles when we have paid for our mobile homes). The owners of the parks wait until the seniors pass on, and then resell the home, so in reality, the owners who have paid in good faith never really owned their homes. They cannot pass them on to surviving relatives nor sell them. They are holding us hostages with a simple piece of paper. And the City does not help to support us. They are interested in getting more park buyers in here with big money who want to raise the space rents, which even the owners of a home have to pay.

    It is like being a Veteran, with needs not being met by society. I grew up in a military family, and I have seen how much the military did for us, just as I have seen as a civilian how much society has done to try to help us. I never started out with mental illness (permanent PTSD in my case). I was a child when I began to be abused. But people talk about the things that happen to all of us, but they don’t take any action. And we who are already suffering are left behind. I honestly don’t know what to say about it all. I know that every day I have to do battle inside to live. Every day I think about how life might be easier if I could just go to sleep forever. No one is monitoring my medicines, and with many allergies to medicines, it is something that needs to happen. I have stopped taking anything because there is no one to monitor them and they have made me ill. Thank you for reading this. I am sure I am not alone in this suffering. I could have been a person who had so much to contribute to others. I HAVE been a volunteer, a tutor of illiterate adults, a substitute for special needs children in school and other things to help my city. But for what, I will never be certain.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s